It was out of utter boredom and sense of restlessness that I chose to switch the TV on. After browsing through almost 50-55 channels, I stopped at Channel [V] for some relief. There came the rushes of "Suvreen Guggal", a television series - where the lead character was protesting for some "ban on short clothes in her college campus" with slogans like "Soch badlo kapde nai". I could instantly relate it to much talked about SLUT Walks and "Don't tell us what to wear - tell them not to rape" posts.
I have been to places, traveled quiet a bit, observed people generally; women and girls specifically. To be honest, no where else have I seen such an urge to control women as in India. (ofcourse Talibanized countries not included!) When I say 'control', I mean freedom, independence. Right from life changing decisions such as what to study and whom to marry to petty things such as what to wear, are dictated either by parents or by husband or in-laws. I can only imagine how difficult it would be even breath in such a situation! Being "happy" seems unattainable!
Just a few days back, I encountered a similar situation. An elder from the family, asked me not to dress in a certain way while at home. (I was wearing three quarter - just to give you an idea!) Being a "good" "sanskari" Indian girl that I am, I complied. I however just couldn't convince myself of the decision and felt terribly wrong about the whole thing. (BAN on wearing quarters at home! Seriously!??!)
First of all, its only at home that we dress the way we want to. Isn't it? Also, what to and what not to wear (at home or outside) is a personal choice. In the 21st century, when girls are educated, we manage teams like a pro, independently run businesses, fly planes, and drive taxis, decide on our investments, and at home; engage parents (& in laws) and kids equally well, you think we cannot decide what to wear and when? You seriously think so!?! 8-}
WE ARE what we wear. Its about being yourself. What I wear defines me. Its my identity for God's sake! Only if I could make that supposedly 'elder' understand such a simple thing! That's exactly where I find "Soch badlo kapde nai" relevant in our Indian society.
I understand we all (girls and guys, ladies and (gentle)men alike) are expected to dress appropriately in a civil society. However, what is 'appropriate' for my grand mom, need not necessarily be 'appropriate' for me and vice versa. Here, we must agree to disagree and go our own ways. So, from today onwards, I will go back to wearing whatever I feel like; no matter what anybody else thinks of me. I seriously don't give a damn. Am feeling soooo good liberated as I am typing it. (Guggal inspired) ;) Actually that's how I have lived my life - on my own terms. Always. Why to change now!
Finally, I request all mothers, husbands and MILs to stop asking your daughters', wives' and daughter-in-laws' to dress/ live / put up a facade for the"society". STOP uttering this blasphemy against our lives! Society is made up of you and I - US. So, lets start cleansing our thought processes at first, which by the way are hypocritical. :-L
Peace.
:)>-
:)>-
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